July 2, 2021

Dear Friends,

When Feliks was in his early teens, he was having a very hard time. And we were having a very hard time with him. In the Summer of 2015, it came to a head. Honestly, I didn’t think I would survive it. And that is not hyperbole.

We got him in to see a new psychiatrist because the one he had been seeing retired. They prescribed, among other things, an antidepressant. His mood changed almost immediately, long before the medication could have kicked in to affect him in such a dramatic way. I asked my therapist about this, wondering if Feliks might be faking it for some reason. “No,” he said, “just having the medication has given him hope, and hope is amazingly powerful.”

So, our trip to visit a college last week was a trip toward hope. The pandemic has been hard on so many young people, divorcing them from hope. We had some mishaps along the way, but they just made the trip more ours. Here’s some of what I shared on Facebook about the trip:

On the drive there, Feliks was discombobulated: "This is in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to go." I offered to turn around. "No, let's go."

When we got to the town, "This is awful. There's nothing to do here."

When we got to the hotel and the pool was closed, "What are we even going to do tonight, then?"

When we drove onto campus last night to see where the admissions office was for this morning, "This is stupid. The buildings are terrible. The lake is full of weeds."

When we drove to the Equestrian Center a few miles from campus last night, the energy changed. "Oh my god, this is incredible. Look how big it is!"

So we went to the Open House from 9:30-1pm on Saturday, took a tour and walked over the entire campus, saw a dorm room, saw the real lake, not the swamp, saw all the classroom buildings, the library, all the things. IN OPPRESSIVE HEAT.

Then a former student who was Captain of the dressage team took us to the Equestrian Center to tour and to meet the director. Let's call the director Miss Peggy.

Miss Peggy and Feliks got on like nobody's business. I just stood to the side and tried to keep my feet from falling off.

Miss Peggy: "Feliks, I am also the college Marshall, so if you miss any classes, the professors will let me know and you and I will have a talk - if you're sick, I'll make sure you see a doctor. If you just skipped class, we'll be talking about that, too. I promise you that you won't be doing that again."

We said our goodbyes after they talked for a while, we visited Manley the miniature horse, and got in the car. As we drove off, Feliks said: "I really, really liked Miss Peggy."

Never underestimate the power of a single human connection. As we left town, I asked Feliks what he was doing on his phone.

"I'm filling out the online application. I want to go there."

Hope is powerful. Find a way to take a step toward hope.

CLASSES AND EVENTS

I received a reflection about my most recent women’s writing retreat and wanted to share it with you and invite you to my next virtual writing retreat in July.

“Being part of Patti Digh‘s writing retreat (and before that her Writers in the Pandemic) has been the opening of a door that was shut tight inside me. Patti opens those inner doors by asking questions that are, at the same time, both incisive and nurturing. I don’t know how she does it! but it’s a pleasure to learn from her example. Writing with her and the writers who gather around her reminds me why I started writing in the first place. Pure joy.” -Karen Shipp

I would love to welcome you to this circle. For all levels of writers.

LINKS TO LINGER OVER

What do you know about the inner lives of Black women?

This is a huge victory for transgender, intersex, and nonbinary Americans.

What is the white panic behind critical race theory all about?

Language changes. It evolves. Keep up!

You are not really Southern until you have mastered this recipe and the difference between sweet tea and sweetened tea.

I’ll see you next Friday from my orange desk. Keep your animals safe this Fourth of July.

With love,

Patti

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